He passed away

I was shocked yesterday that one of our members in CMHV took his checquered life by himself. Some of CMHV members including me visited his funeral home in Korea University Anam Hospital. He had suffered from chronic mental illness, maybe schizophrenia (and bipolar disorder) since his early twenties. I clearly remember: he was almost always grumbling that he had not enough money to join us when we tried to visit, eat, or go somewhere. Although CMHV does not provide any monetary support for individuals, we always chose the option which is nearly free or so cheap. I felt sorry for his poverty and sometimes would like to give him some pennies, but didn't do a lot in our casual meetings. I could not decide if his grumbling was caused from his real destitution or it was one of his symptoms. He was always drunken -- suspected alcoholic, so we had to figure out with our ears flapping what he was trying to say.

However, I deeply regret his death and feel really sorry about that we did not do anything although his prognosis was not so good recent days when we observed him in our monthly meeting. We might have to report it to a doctor. We talked about his death after visiting the funeral place, and I felt helpless that we, as a volunteer friend will be able to do only a little in the future to prevent this kind of suicide.